Philisophically speaking to my understanding, I had hurt several of my associates for
totally ending my public seminars and also of commiting my self for doing a workshop for them.
It saddened me for their lack of undersanding and not puting them selves in my shoes.
As a teacher and one of a total different culture an customs, I am not required to explain
every nit picking thing to anybody. As a teacher I always had to give a lending ear to people's
whining, may not necessarily be any of my associates or even friends - mostly also outsiders.
Afterall I have paid my dues!
When I was still working for a living, I took on all sorts of jobs - and at times was even working
three jobs, a full time one and partime somewhere else. To feed family and buy clothes for
my kids. Even did unloaded box cars with Porland cement for days after days and months after months. This I did during the mornings and at night woked my regular job for another 10 or 8 hours,
working in manufacturing plants. Might not be of inrest to you, but some of my associates need to know, I have never complained how tired I was, I figure is non of anyone's business.
A reaon when I was teaching people, they were victims of my physical abuse. I could not speak English very well and had them physically attack me and in turn I was gracefully defending my self.
ASK MY OLD STUDENTS, I WAS NEVER A PLEASANT GUY TO DEAL WITH.
The students who stayed, my seniors can attest of my troublesome behaviorism toward othes,
working all those jobs and teaching martial arts at the same time, and only weighing soaken wet
the most 135 pounds, is not easy to reckon with.
Nobody had known, I always kept to myself, I developed in the long run, for lack of rest and
appropriate food intake, pancreatic cancer. Laugh if you like, but I indeed was suffering that for
several years and the treatment was painful and straineously eating my energy. The special
treatments I was given, finally made me to recover HEAVEN AND HELL, because I was just to
mean of giving up. A reason I hated whiners around me!
When my three other brothers Maurice, Paul and Victor and my self did a one time workshop
together at Guru Dan Insoanto's Martial Arts Academy, I met guru Don Ethan Miller, who
at the time was training there. We had developed a geater friendship that anyone else could ever
imagine. Not one of my friends had ever cared, because I don't want them too. They didn't know
of my situation and gladly no one knew, how I had to struggle. Sick of listening to someone elses
wisdom of b******* and blaming me for being a non caring ass h*** for a friend.
I better be a straight up front A****** than half of a A******.
It was Don Ethan Miller who introduced me for doing seminars or workshops - no one else did.
Again and again he is my best friend, partner, and associate on the road. With Don as we did made an agreement, we are doing still our Tai Chi or internal kun tao farm together at his house
dojo in Mas.
Because of me unable to deal with the arrogance of students and associates, for wanting to have things always their way and their way alone, even when it considers my martial arts - I terminated
several individuals not on my list of teachers. I am glad they are gone and done, I don't want to see
any one of them anymore. I am sick looking at their general's uniform and they always acting
like the grace of superiority over others. A reason why I think martial arts sucks, because of those
individuals. Some sudents thought that they could walk all ove me, for not being connected, and
I am so stupid, that they wanted to make me famous - I am not famous, I just put in time of sharing
my blood, swet and tears with people. My family name of de Thouars is world history and also European history. Those "wackedup" jobs like Steve Gartin, an ugly white man, had drain my
energy and time for teaching him. I say this openly of him still thinking to be my best student,
while being so lazy that he wanted only doing the far distance program with his other teachers,
he claimed that he studied under. Let him QUIT recognizing me as his teacher, a good student
don't dishonor a teacher and his family and his friends. A good student don't let a teacher sign a
STUPID contract for a stupid taping business, and dishonor a teacher who had given him always
free lessons and hospitality, him and his associate Chess Clements. YOU BOTH HAD THREATENED MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY, I WILL ALWAYS HATE AND HATE YOU FOR THAT.
YOU STEVE DOUGLAS GARTIN I AM NOT SCARED FOR YOU OR YOUR ASSOCIATE, I WILL
FACE YOU TWO ANYTIME WITH YOUR BULLDOZER TACTICS. I KNOW YOU ARE WALKING FREE AROUND, AND QUIT PLAYING YOUR DRAMATIC LIFE THAT AMOUNT TO S***.
I WILL NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE OR RECKOGNIZE THE AMERICAN KUN TO SILAT, I HATE
THAT GROUP. THEY ARE DISHONORING MY MARTIAL PRACTIE AND I HAVE TRAINED AND WORKED SO HARD FOR A LIFE TIME OF PRACTICE. SO THE TWO OF YOU FEEL HEREBY INSULTED AS YOU HAVE DONE TO ME FOR YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS!
The group still training under me, I feel he most comfortable for being around them, they
never whine or complain or smoke POT, they just train and train. I am not required to be somebody
else but me, myself when I am with them. They train hard, they fight hard and I am glad I don't
have to kiss up to sombody.
So I said it again, I quit while the going is GOOD and hope my associates who were hurt
for me not telling them my reason, and some of my old frieds whom I parted from, always wanted to have the last word - have the last word for only you.
I will always thank guru Dan Inosanto for guru Don Ethan Miller.
In closng please be at peace and salam in silat, bapak willem de thouars.
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